I always wanted to be baptized. But the thought scared the crap out of me! I have seen others do it and they look so sure, happy and proud! I wondered 'how can they be so sure that they can promise to be perfect?' I mean to lie to God is a unimaginable! I have done a lot of things, but that's where I draw the line!! I couldn't even think about saying "ok, God....I am going to walk the line and be perfect. No more messing up from here on out!" I would be NUTS!!! Well, minus the little promise that if he just lets me make it to the gas station this ONE time.....I promise I would never let in gas in my vehicle get this low again!!
I grew up knowing of God. A power bigger than us. Also hearing that he is loving, giving, forgiving, etc. However, I can't say that I "know" God or the story of the Bible. I can't explain the void I felt. Especially during my early adult years (at 38 and married for 13 years I consider myself as mid-adult) I couldn't tell my daughters stories or quote anything from the Bible.
One of my oldest friends was the first person that was PROUD to say that she was a Christian, LOVED the Lord and LOVED the church!! Jen Cook Bright has been my friend since we were in 9th grade. When I went into the Army at 18, she continued on with her life. She married shortly after my return from basic training and started to attend church. She ALWAYS extended the offer for me to come with her and her family. I did occasionally. I left church not understanding what I just heard. Was I suppose to be getting something out of this? I guess I expected some radical movement. I didn't get it. I went a few more times but it didn't feel like "home".
My cousin Karen Avers Emenheiser is the second person in my life that also had her life changed by Christ. They say that people will see the change in you and be drawn to it. In her, I saw it! She was more forgiving, gentle and was eager to answer questions that I had. She invited me to Life Groups while she lived in the area. (Her husband is in the Army and they have spent most of their married life traveling the States) She also introduced me to a church called LCBC. For the first time, I attended church and liked it! The music was easy and the sermon wasn't like a sermon at all! Rather a normal man in blue jeans and a button down shirt talking to me! Pretty neat place, but too far for me to drive every week. So again, I went occasionally when she invited me.
In 2010 I started to go to LCBC's new location in Harrisburg. I really wanted to have my girls to have a better relationship with God than I did. And who am I kidding, I wanted a relationship for my self as well. I decided to put aside all the excuses: I don't have a church to call home, I am embarrassed to sing, Sunday was the only day that my husband had off and he didn't want to go, etc. Can you imagine that I started to REALLY like it! There were sermons when I thought the pastor was speaking right to me. I liked the music, wrote down the titles and found myself burning them to a CD to listen to in my car! I also caught myself talking about LCBC to my friends and inviting them to come to church with me. I serve in the Nursery and participate on the Cookie Drop team. In April of 2012 I took the leap and sponsored a child from a 3rd world country.....again, something that I had wanted to do for a long time. Nudging is a good word to use when trying to explain the feelings I have felt over the past year. A nudging from God to extend/open myself up to Him and to others.
On May 27, 2012 I was baptized at LCBC! Karen and Jen joined me in the pool while I took a step closer to Jesus. It was important that they were there with me as they always have been. Never giving up on me. They have been wonderful examples!
So, how can people be so sure that they are good enough to be baptized you may have asked too? LCBC taught me that making the commitment to being baptized isn't saying that you will be perfect and not make mistakes. It's saying you trust in God and want to walk a life with Him as your savior. That IS what I want to do! God knows my story and my messes already. He still accepts me and loves me, his daughter. That is an AWESOME feeling!
My Story which was read in church:
My name is Melinda. I live in Dillsburg with my husband and two daughters. They are 4 & 6 years old.
Growing up I was aware of God. I have had a constant nudging feeling to get to know him and to have a relationship with him. For some reason I was afraid and I didn’t know why. As I got older I always had some reason why I didn’t come to church. I didn’t have a church to call home which made it easy to justify my choice.
Six years ago my life was in major chaos. My world fell apart. I hurt and let people down that I cared about. The shame was unbearable at times and I was at the lowest point of my life. As afraid as I was, looking back now I understand the calmness and strength I felt through it all.
I have had the opportunity to witness lives changed by Christ first hand via family members and friends. Karen & Jen are joining me today in the water. Karen is my cousin and Jen has been my friend for over 20 years. They have been spiritual inspirations to me.
I have thought about being baptized for years, but didn’t feel like I was “perfect enough” to do so. Knowing that I am bound to trip up eventually and letting Him down was a risk I didn’t want to take. However, LCBC has taught me:
· God loves me; I don’t have to be perfect.
· My flesh will fail me, but God will not and he accepts my failures
· My story is his plan and there is room at his table for me…a sinner.
I can say that I am proud of my life. I am eager to tell people of my church, LCBC. I am ready to officially welcome Jesus as my savior and know that I will never be alone.
